The Dating Black Book - Carlos Xuma, ebook, ebook.1400, Temp 2
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Carlos Xuma
T
HE
D
ATING
B
LACK
B
OOK
This work is copyrighted by the author. No unauthorized duplication or presentation allowed.
Copyright © 2003, DD Publications
All Rights Reserved
(Ver. 7.16.2003)
www.datingdynamics.com
For Shirley …
Are, Not As You Wish Them To Be …
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved
–
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit
www.datingdynamics.com
for more information.
2
Are,
See Things As They Are,
T
HE
D
ATING
B
LACK
B
OOK
PREFACE: THE SCORPION AND THE FROG ...........................................................................................7
INTRODUCTION ...........................................................................................................................................8
H
OW IS THIS BOOK DIFFERENT THAN
T
HE
R
ULES
,
OR OTHER
“
SYSTEMS
”
WITH WOMEN
? ..................................9
WARNING: ..............................................................................................................................................10
A
NOTHER
WARNING: ..............................................................................................................................10
H
OW
T
O
U
SE
T
HIS
B
OOK
...........................................................................................................................12
GETTING STARTED – UNDERSTANDING RELATIONSHIPS ...............................................................14
I
T
’
S
A
LL
S
ALES
… .....................................................................................................................................14
THE
PRINCIPLE
OF
TRUTH ..................................................................................................................15
T
HE
V
ICIOUS
C
YCLE OF
M
ALE
S
EX
D
ESIRE
.................................................................................................16
T
HE
C
OMFORT
F
ACTOR AND THE
N
OVELTY
S
YNDROME
...............................................................................17
T
HE
B
IG
T
RAP
...........................................................................................................................................18
W
HAT IS YOUR
G
OAL
? ...............................................................................................................................19
S
HADES OF
G
RAY
,
N
OT
B
LACK
-
AND
-W
HITE
................................................................................................19
T
HE
M
YTH OF
G
AME
P
LAYING
....................................................................................................................20
S
EXUAL
P
OWER
........................................................................................................................................22
H
OW IS THIS MATERIAL ORGANIZED
?...........................................................................................................23
K
EY
T
O
T
HE
S
YMBOLS
...............................................................................................................................25
INTERNAL GAME: GET YOUR GAME TOGETHER! ..............................................................................26
B
EHAVIORS
T
HAT
R
EDUCE
A
TTRACTION
.....................................................................................................28
M
YTHS
......................................................................................................................................................31
The Myth of “Destiny” .........................................................................................................................31
The Myth of the “Nice Guy”.................................................................................................................31
The Myth of the “Jerk”.........................................................................................................................33
The Myth of the “Player” .....................................................................................................................34
The Myth of the “Natural”....................................................................................................................34
The Myth of “Compatibility”.................................................................................................................35
T
HE
T
HREE
S’
S
–
T
HE
K
EY TO
Y
OUR
I
NNER
G
AME
......................................................................................37
T
RUST
......................................................................................................................................................43
R
ESISTANCE
.............................................................................................................................................43
S
UPPLEMENTAL
T
RAITS
.............................................................................................................................45
Attitude................................................................................................................................................45
Scarcity versus Abundance ................................................................................................................47
Integrity ...............................................................................................................................................48
C
REATE A
C
ODE FOR
Y
OURSELF
,
AND A
M
ISSION
........................................................................................49
T
HE
C
ONFIDENCE
T
READMILL
....................................................................................................................50
J
UST SAY
N
O
!
(M
EN
) .................................................................................................................................52
D
O
W
HAT
Y
OU
K
NOW
Y
OU
M
UST
..............................................................................................................52
D
ELAYED
G
RATIFICATION
–
G
O
SLOW ......................................................................................................53
R
OLE
M
ODELS
..........................................................................................................................................54
T
HE
B
IG
R
ULE
:
DOW
!
(D
ATE
O
THER
W
OMEN
!) .........................................................................................55
S
END
M
IXED
S
IGNALS
...............................................................................................................................58
EXTERNAL GAME .....................................................................................................................................59
1.
Y
OUR
A
PPEARANCE AND
P
RESENTATION
................................................................................................59
2.
Y
OUR
C
AR
............................................................................................................................................65
3.
Y
OUR
H
OME
..........................................................................................................................................65
D
ETAIL
O
RIENTATION
.................................................................................................................................67
C
HIVALRY
.................................................................................................................................................68
I
NITIATIVE
..................................................................................................................................................68
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved
–
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit
www.datingdynamics.com
for more information.
3
T
HE
D
ATING
B
LACK
B
OOK
G
ET
Y
OURSELF A
G
OOD
C
O
-P
ILOT
............................................................................................................69
ABF
–
A
LWAYS
B
E
F
LIRTING
!.....................................................................................................................69
Flirting Methods ..................................................................................................................................70
THE DATING CONTINUUM........................................................................................................................72
P
LANNING AND EXECUTION
........................................................................................................................72
T
HE
W
OMAN
Y
OU
W
ANT
............................................................................................................................73
T
HE
T
HREE
S
TAGES OF THE
C
ONTINUUM
....................................................................................................75
MEET ......................................................................................................................................................77
Introduction .........................................................................................................................................77
Acclimation Training ...........................................................................................................................78
Jump, and the Net Will Appear ...........................................................................................................82
The Three Second Rule......................................................................................................................83
The Comfort Zone...............................................................................................................................83
Rejection .............................................................................................................................................84
Detach Yourself from the Outcome ....................................................................................................84
The Best Opening Line Ever...............................................................................................................85
Close the Deal (Get the phone number and email) ............................................................................86
Email ...................................................................................................................................................88
Online Dating ......................................................................................................................................89
Speed Dating ......................................................................................................................................90
MATE ......................................................................................................................................................92
Beware of “Dating” ..............................................................................................................................92
TOP TEN DATING MISTAKES ..........................................................................................................93
Availability ...........................................................................................................................................95
Dating and Friendship.........................................................................................................................96
ABB - Always Be Busy........................................................................................................................97
First meeting .......................................................................................................................................97
Show Her Without Telling Her ............................................................................................................99
Just Say No! (Women)......................................................................................................................100
Close .................................................................................................................................................100
What do we talk about? ....................................................................................................................102
Male Panic ........................................................................................................................................106
First Through Third Date...................................................................................................................107
The Kiss ............................................................................................................................................108
Broken Dates – No-shows ................................................................................................................109
Sexual Reversal Strategy .................................................................................................................111
The Big Test – The Doubt Dip ..........................................................................................................112
The Dance of Attraction ....................................................................................................................113
One Night Stands .............................................................................................................................114
Long Distance Relationships ............................................................................................................115
Short term .........................................................................................................................................115
Avoid the Premature “I Love You” ....................................................................................................117
Paying the Bill ...................................................................................................................................118
Meet the Parents ..............................................................................................................................119
Long Term Strategies – To Marriage, And The Bitter End ...............................................................119
Cheating............................................................................................................................................121
The Long-Term Relationship ............................................................................................................121
Going Exclusive ................................................................................................................................122
Relationship Maintenance Program .................................................................................................123
The Steal...........................................................................................................................................125
MOVE
ON..............................................................................................................................................126
The “End” ..........................................................................................................................................127
Start again – Rejuvenation ...............................................................................................................128
KINO OR KINESTHESIS: HOW AND WHEN TO USE YOUR TOUCH .................................................129
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved
–
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit
www.datingdynamics.com
for more information.
4
T
HE
D
ATING
B
LACK
B
OOK
F
IRST
:
T
HE
G
ROUND
R
ULES
....................................................................................................................129
F
IRST OF ALL
,
THE
B
AD
. ...........................................................................................................................130
N
OW
,
THE GOOD
......................................................................................................................................131
G
OOD PLACES TO TOUCH EARLY
: .............................................................................................................132
G
OOD PLACES TO TOUCH A FEW DATES LATER
: .........................................................................................132
O
THER
A
REAS
.........................................................................................................................................133
T
ICKLE
K
INO
...........................................................................................................................................134
S
EXUAL
K
INO
..........................................................................................................................................134
NLP
-
A
NCHORING
-
S
EDUCTION TECHNIQUES
-
A
CCELERATORS
...............................................................135
BASIC PSYCHOLOGICAL PRINCIPLES ................................................................................................137
P
AIN
/P
LEASURE
......................................................................................................................................137
S
CARCITY AND
A
PPRECIATION
..................................................................................................................138
F
EMALE
A
TTRACTION
...............................................................................................................................139
D
EFENSIVE
S
HIELDS
................................................................................................................................140
P
SYCHOLOGICAL
P
OSTURE
......................................................................................................................140
S
ELF
-
INTEREST
.......................................................................................................................................141
A
DDICTION
..............................................................................................................................................142
C
ONTROL
P
RINCIPLE
...............................................................................................................................143
F
EMALE
B
EHAVIOR
..................................................................................................................................143
W
ORDS AND
A
CTIONS
..............................................................................................................................144
D
RAMA AND
M
EANING
..............................................................................................................................144
S
TROKED AND
U
N
-
STROKED
....................................................................................................................145
P
OISONOUS
W
OMEN
...............................................................................................................................146
D
ANGER
S
IGNS
.......................................................................................................................................151
W
OMEN AT
30 .........................................................................................................................................151
T
HE
P
ROGRAM
W
OMAN
...........................................................................................................................152
T
HE
H
IGH
-M
AINTENANCE
W
OMAN
............................................................................................................153
P
ROFILE OF A
G
OOD
W
OMAN
–
T
HE
F
OUR
E
SSENTIAL
Q
UALITIES
..............................................................154
MALE-FEMALE COMMUNICATIONS .....................................................................................................156
Q
UESTIONS
.............................................................................................................................................157
A
RGUMENTS
...........................................................................................................................................158
Feathers............................................................................................................................................160
U
SE HUMOR AS A CALMING TACTIC
...........................................................................................................161
WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT .............................................................................................................163
W
OMEN
W
ANT
S
EX
.................................................................................................................................164
V
ULNERABILITY
/
H
ONESTY
/
R
ISK
/
E
MOTIONAL
D
ISCLOSURE
....................................................................165
T
ESTS
.....................................................................................................................................................166
G
IVE
T
HEM
THE
T
EST
..............................................................................................................................170
I
NVESTMENT
M
ECHANISM
........................................................................................................................172
Y
OUR
P
ARENTS
.......................................................................................................................................172
DATING DYSFUNCTION..........................................................................................................................174
M
OODS
...................................................................................................................................................174
D
ON
’
T
A
NSWER
A
W
OMAN
’
S
Q
UESTIONS
..................................................................................................175
O
VERREACTING
(M
ORE
A
BOUT
W
HY
M
OMMY
I
SN
’
T
M
AD
….) ....................................................................176
B
OUNDARIES
...........................................................................................................................................178
J
EALOUSY
...............................................................................................................................................179
C
ONTENTION
P
RINCIPLE
..........................................................................................................................180
SEX............................................................................................................................................................182
C
OMMUNICATION
.....................................................................................................................................182
S
KILLS
....................................................................................................................................................185
© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved
–
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit
www.datingdynamics.com
for more information.
5
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