The Land of Nod - Mike Resnick, ebook
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The Land of Nodby Mike ResnickCopyright (c) 1996Once, many years ago, there was a Kikuyu warrior who left hisvillage and wandered off in search of adventure. Armed only with aspear, he slew the mighty lion and the cunning leopard. Then oneday he came upon an elephant. He realized that his spear wasuseless against such a beast, but before he could back away orfind cover, the elephant charged.His only hope was divine intervention, and he begged Ngai,who rules the universe from His throne atop Kirinyaga, the holymountain that men now call Mount Kenya, to find him and pluck himfrom the path of the elephant.But Ngai did not respond, and the elephant picked the warriorup with its trunk and hurled him high into the air, and he landedin a distant thorn tree. His skin was badly torn by the thorns,but at least he was safe, since he was on a branch some twentyfeet above the ground.After he was sure the elephant had left the area, the warriorclimbed down. Then he returned home and ascended the holy mountainto confront Ngai."What is it that you want of me?" asked Ngai, when thewarrior had reached the summit."I want to know why you did not come," said the warriorangrily. "All my life I have worshiped you and paid tribute toyou. Did you not hear me ask for your help?""I heard you," answered Ngai."Then why did you not come to my aid?" demanded the warrior."Are you so lacking in godly powers that you could not find me?""After all these years you still do not understand," saidNgai sternly. "It is _you_ who must search for _me_."* * *My son Edward picked me up at the police station on BiasharaStreet just after midnight. The sleek British vehicle hovered afew inches above the ground while I got in, and then his chauffeurbegan taking us back to his house in the Ngong Hills."This is becoming tedious," he said, activating theshimmering privacy barrier so that we could not be overheard.He tried to present a judicial calm, but I knew he was furious."You would think they would tire of it," I agreed."We must have a serious talk," he said. "You have been backonly two months, and this is the fourth time I have had to bailyou out of jail.""I have broken no Kikuyu laws," I said calmly, as we racedthrough the dark, ominous slums of Nairobi on our way to theaffluent suburbs."You have broken the laws of Kenya," he said. "And like it ornot, that is where you now live. I'm an official in thegovernment, and I will not have you constantly embarrassing me!"He paused, struggling with his temper. "Look at you! I haveoffered to buy you a new wardrobe. Why must you wear that ugly old_kikoi_? It smells even worse than it looks.""Is there now a law against dressing like a Kikuyu?" I askedhim."No," he said, as he commanded the miniature bar to appearfrom beneath the floor and poured himself a drink. "But there _is_a law against creating a disturbance in a restaurant.""I paid for my meal," I noted, as we turned onto Langata Roadand headed out for the suburbs. "In the Kenya shillings that yougave me.""That does not give you the right to hurl your food againstthe wall, simply because it is not cooked to your taste." Heglared at me, barely able to contain his anger. "You're gettingworse with each offense. If I had been anyone else, you'd havespent the night in jail. As it is, I had to agree to pay for thedamage you caused.""It was eland," I explained. "The Kikuyu do not eat gameanimals.""It was _not_ eland," he said, setting his glass down andlighting a smokeless cigarette. "The last eland died in a Germanzoo a year after you left for Kirinyaga. It was a modified soybeanproduct, genetically enhanced to _taste_ like eland." He paused,then sighed deeply. "If you thought it was eland, why did youorder it?""The server said it was steak. I assumed he meant the meat ofa cow or an ox.""This has got to stop," said Edward. "We are two grown men.Why can't we reach an accomodation?" He stared at me for a longtime. "I can deal with rational men who disagree with me. I do itat Government House every day. But I cannot deal with a fanatic.""I am a rational man," I said."Are you?" he demanded. "Yesterday you showed my wife'snephew how to apply the _githani_ test for truthfulness, and hepractically burned his brother's tongue off.""His brother was lying," I said calmly. "He who lies facesthe red-hot blade with a dry mouth, whereas he who has nothing tofear has enough moisture on his tongue so that he cannot beburned.""Try telling a seven-year-old boy that he has nothing to fearwhen he's being approached by a sadistic older brother who isbrandishing a red-hot knife!" snapped my son.A uniformed watchman waved us through to the private roadwhere my son lived, and when we reached our driveway the chauffeurpulled our British vehicle up to the edge of the force field. Itidentified us and vanished long enough for us to pass through, andsoon we came to the front door.Edward got out of the vehicle and approached his residenceas I followed him. He clenched his fists in a physical effort torestrain his anger. "I agreed to let you live with us, because youare an old man who was thrown off his world-- ""I left Kirinyaga of my own volition," I interrupted calmly."It makes no difference why or how you left," said my son."What matters is that you are _here_ now. You are a very old man.It has been many years since you have lived on Earth. All of yourfriends are dead. My mother is dead. I am your son, and I willaccept my responsibilities, but you _must_ meet me halfway.""I am trying to," I said."I doubt it.""I am," I repeated. "You own son understands that, even ifyou do not.""My own son has had quite enough to cope with since mydivorce and remarriage. The last thing he needs is a grandfatherfilling his head with wild tales of some Kikuyu Utopia.""It is a failed Utopia," I corrected him. "They would notlisten to me, and so they are doomed to become another Kenya.""What is so wrong with that?" said Edward. "Kenya is my home,and I am proud of it." He paused and stared at me. "And now it is_your_ home again. You must speak of it with more respect.""I lived in Kenya for many years before I emigrated toKirinyaga," I said. "I can live here again. Nothing has changed.""That is not so," said my son. "We have built a transportsystem beneath Nairobi, and there is now a spaceport at Watamu onthe coast. We have closed down the nuclear plants; our power isnow entirely thermal, drawn from beneath the floor of the RiftValley. In fact," he added with the pride that always accompaniedthe descriptions of his new wife's attainments, "Susan wasinstrumental in the changeover.""You misunderstood me, Edward," I replied. "Kenya remainsunchanged in that it continues to ape the Europeans rather thanremain true to its own traditions."The security system identified us and opened his house to us.We walked through the foyer, past the broad winding staircase theled to the bedroom wing. The servants were waiting for us, and thebutler took Edward's coat from him. Then we passed the doorwaysthe lounge and drawing room, both of which were filled with Romanstatues and French paintings and rows of beautifully-bound Britishbooks. Finally we came to Edward's study, where he turned andspoke in a low tone to the butler."We wish to be alone."The servants vanished as if they had been nothing butholograms."Where is Susan?" I asked, for my daughter-in-law was nowhereto be seen."We were at a party at the Cameroon ambassador's new homewhen the call came through that you had been arrested again," heanswered. "You broke up a very enjoyable bridge game. My guess isthat she's in the tub or in bed, cursing your name."I was about to mention that cursing my name to the god of theEuropeans would not prove effective, but I decided that my sonwould not like to hear that at this moment, so I was silent. As Ilooked at my surroundings, I reflected that not only had all ofEdward's belongings come from the Europeans, but that even hishouse had been taken from them, for it consisted of manyrectangular rooms, and all Kikuyu knew -- or should have known --that demons dwell in corners and the only proper shape for a homeis round.Edward walked briskly to his desk, activated his computer andread his messages, and then turned to me."There is another message from the government," he announced."They want to see you next Tuesday at noon.""I have already told them I will not accept their money," Isaid. "I have performed no service for them."He put on his Lecture Face. "We are no longer a poorcountry," he said. "We pride ourselves that none of our infirm orelderly goes hungry.""I will not go hungry, if the restaurants will stop trying tofeed me unclean animals.""The government is just making sure that you do not become afinancial burden to me," said Edward, refusing to let me changethe subject."You are my son," I said. "I raised you and fed you andprotected you when you were young. Now I am old and you will dothe same for me. That is our tradition.""Well, it is our government's tradition to provide afinancial safety net to families who are supporting elderlymembers," he said, and I could tell that the last trace of Kikuyuwithin him ha...
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